In this article we will talk about one of the many things a Master needs to be a good Master, and that is that any good Master needs humility.

A strange statement to make. Is not humility something we seek in the slave, not the Master.

But this contradiction can be answered by a question: How do we learn?

Masters have large strong egos. And this should be expected in a person who has decided that their aim is life is to have someone serve and worship them. Only someone with a strong ego can think this. And then Masters who find themselves being served by a slave who loves them unconditionally will only find their ego growing.

But someone whose ego is untempered will often not be able to learn. In order to learn we need to understand that there are still unknowns to be learned, there are mistakes to make and learn from, and that we can always improve and become better.

How do we do this? Through humility. Compared to a slave’s humility, a Master’s humility would be far smaller. But it still needs to be there.

I often see people claiming to be tops or Masters who are unable to listen or to be taught. Instead, they believe they know best and they have nothing to learn. It is an awful combination as it is someone who is stuck as they are. Unable to improve, unable to change.

When mistakes or issues occur, it is someone else fault, not theirs, because they are perfect. And when the same issues happen again and again, it is because the scene is full of people that do not understand what is required of them.

I remember once a 20-30 year old coming into the Hoist in London. He interrupted me serving a Master demanding that I was now his. The Master I was serving very patiently tried to explain to this person the correct behavior and what would be more acceptable. But the person would not listen and went on perpetuating his behavior and wondering why no one would serve him.

But then there are Masters who learn. They listen to others, they observe others, and they ask questions. They appreciate expertise in others and learn from them. And they safely experiment finding out new things to try, things to improve, and things which fail.

Although I have yet to experience a proper Master slave relationship, I have read about them. They talk about things I struggle to understand, as you can only understand by experiencing them. If this is true for me, it is also true for the Master.

Then when they take on their first slave, they go on a journey of discovery. They find and experience new things. How can they go on that journey unless they are open to what that journey tells them, to what they can learn from the journey.

Therefore a Master needs humility to learn, to change, and to adapt.

In coaching circles, we call this a Growth mindset. Someone who is always trying to improve and to become better. To achieve mastery in whatever subjects they look at.

Using the four stages of competence learning can be split up into stages:

  • Unknown unknowns. Said another way, when you start there are things you know you need to learn. But there is also a group of things that you do not even know that you need to learn about.
  • Known unknowns: As time goes you start to learn, and with experience you become to learn about the unknown unknowns.
  • Known knowns: At the end you have learn them all, or you keep on finding more unknown unknowns.

Many people who come into looking at this lifestyle – either Master or slave – have no idea what living the lifestyle is actually like. We only have fantasies and many unknown unknowns. So the only way we can learn to do this properly is by going through the four stages of competence.

So we all need humility to learn through these stages, and through experience become better.

But only if we have humility. Both Master and slave.