Last year I thought I had the option to take a 3 month trial with a Master. I would move to his house and be in captivity 24/7 for 3 months. From this, we would then decide whether I would become his wholly own slave.
How do you make a decision like this? Can you trust someone enough to become their captive for 3 months? I am almost 40 years old, and issues such as losing your job or your rented flat (something which is very hard to find in Berlin) are significant issues to consider
I used two decision-making models to help which I want to share here.
Embracing the fear
This first model is based on embracing your fear when taking a big decision.
Create 3 columns.
- Column 1: Define your fears
- Column 2: How can you prevent that fear
- Column 3: If what you feared did come true, how would you mitigate it.
Here is an excerpt of what I create as an example:
|The trial does not work out, I have lost my job, and now need to find a new job.||I could do a sabbatical.||Need to find a new job – perhaps I update my CV and create a toolbox before the trial.|
|Not in a good mental state to be making big decisions after the trial (like finding a job).||Have a buffer period in the sabbatical where I readjust – maybe stay with a friend/friends.||Have buffer time|
|The trial does not work out, I lose my flat and need to find another one.||Sub rent the flat out. Get Person X to help in advertising it as they do short term rentals.||Person X can allow me to stay. Person Y might have a flat I can stay in short|
term – let’s check this.
|I do not have the right mindset to serve, and I am not ready for a 24/7 3 month trial.||Keep meditating and focussing on serving the Master and not my ego. Refer to myself with the correct pronoun (it) more often)||????????|
As you can see, you can break down what you are actually scared about, and then see what actions you can take to mitigate and prevent them.
By doing this, I was able to deal with most of my fears and have rational solutions for them.
In my mind, there were lots of worries that were flicking in and out of my mind. This allowed me to write them all down, and then to see what I could do about them.
It made me feel a lot better and allowed me to see what actions I wanted to take now to try and make the decision less risky.
When you look at the worst that can happen and then see you can do things to repair or prevent them, you feel much better.
I found there was only one fear that I could not mitigate or prevent: What if I like the Master, but He does like me.
But the one warning I would give is that this does make you look at things in a worst-case scenario, so make sure you do then also look at things in a best-case manner as well, and do not get stuck in the worst-case view.
Make the decision with lots of different perspectives
There is an excellent video on this.
You look at the decision from 5 different angles:
By looking at the decision from these angles, you can see what the best choice might be. It can help bring certain things to the surface you might not have noticed.
Which techniques should I use
The embracing the fear decision model is a way of taking your emotions and rationally looking at them. Whereas the multiples perspectives model allows you to look at the decision with different emotions.
Most of us have a primary way of making decisions. Either rationally or emotionally. You can find out which by listing all the big decisions you made in your life since you were born, and then checking whether you made that decision logically (rationally) or emotionally.
For myself – I make decisions emotionally. Over time, I now make sure I balance this by using rationality to my decision-making process. But at heart, my decision making is emotional. I will not make a big decision if it does not feel right.
As a result, the embracing the fear works best for me, as it helps me to look at things more rationally.
Whereas for someone who makes decision rationally, they will probably find the second model more useful.
However, if you have a life-changing decision – like becoming a 24/7 slave – probably spend the time to do both of them. Both models will give different insights.
What decision did you come to for the trial?
By using this approach, I decided to do the 3 month trial! I started to speak to friends about staying with them as a buffer, and I began to talk to my workplace about taking a sabbatical – as there was a sabbatical policy!
But in the end, the Master went silent and stopped talking to me