True slavery is about emotions and feelings. The thought becomes secondary. With a Master you can trust, you can let go and allow Him to think for you. To allow His orders, needs and wants to drive your actions. And you become a vessel of all of your emotions, and you allow that energy to drive your service.

This is a skill that can be learnt.

This is part 2 of a set of articles teaching this skill.

(And if you are a Master then find out how mindfulness could help you.)

In this part we will look at the three main meditations to learn.

Breathing and body scan

The breathing and body scan is the foundation meditation. By learning this and doing this well, you set a good foundation for yourself in order to learn the other meditations. Without this firm foundation you will struggle with the later ones. So do take the time to do this one well. It is also the reason why we spend much longer practicing this meditation before moving onto the next ones.

The meditation involves focussing through your body – toes, feet, legs, back, arms, head and chest, and to then focus on your breathing.

You can focus on your breathing by:

  • Feeling the air coming in and out of your nose. Hot air coming out of your nose, and cold air coming in.
  • The air moving in and out of you lungs, you feel the lungs expand and contract with air. Perhaps you can feel the air moving in and through your throat to the lungs.
  • your diaphragm – feel the muscle contracting and expanding, and feel the air entering this deeper part of you lungs.

People will have find one of these easier than the other. Use whichever one feels better for you. You should not change your breathing, so no need to breath less or more just breath normally.

Do this every day for a week.

In the second week repeat, but this time as thoughts enter your head (and they will), try categorising them. For example: Work, sex, shopping, to do, etc.

The idea here is not to judge yourself and tell yourself off for these thoughts. It is to view your thoughts with compassion and categorise them factually.

The naming of thoughts can help you to clear your head and to start calming you.

As a slave I also categorised some thoughts as ego. So when I was thinking about myself, I would say ego. Again I would not see this as bad, but to simply identify what the thoughts are.

In total you should do this mediation for 3 weeks:

  • Week 1: Focus on breathing
  • Week 2 and 3: Focus on breathing but also start to categorise your thoughts when your mind wanders
  • Over time also try to increase the length of mediation. This does not have to be constant, but for example on a weekend you could try and longer meditation (30 minutes), but in the week you could move from a 8 minutes meditation to a 15 minutes.

Here are some tracks you can use to guide you through the practice:

Summary: Do once a day for three weeks increasing the length over time.

Being with difficulty meditation

In week 4 you move onto this meditation.

This meditation changes to focus on the emotions in your body. When we feel emotions we are often only conscious of the thoughts they bring in our head. But emotions also have a physical sensation in the body.

This meditation helps to focus on these physically sensations. By focussing on the physical sensations rather than our thoughts, we find are focussing on the actual emotion itself.

For myself when I feel sadness or hurt, it is often around my stomach. Whereas anger I feel like an energy all over my body but especially around my heart, shoulders and arms, and fear is often in front of my chest.

This mediation will help you to start identity these physical sensations, and then to accept them as part of who you are. 

This meditation is important to learn as it is needed to do the next and final meditation. But it also teaches vitally important skill for a slave.

Slavery is about emotions and feelings. This meditation teaches us a way to become aware of the true source of feelings and emotions – where they physically are in the body – and from that awareness to sink in them. To truly become them rather than stuck in our thoughts.

Although this meditation is for difficult feelings we can also use them for positive feelings.

We have a filter between our feelings and emotions and that is our mind and ego. We need this to get through a normal day in the real world. But when serving in a safe space, we can let this filter go and become our feelings and emotions, and allow our Master to shape them.

If slavery is about emotions and feelings, this is a skill that allows us to become those when serving a Master we trust. There will be more information on this in the next section.

For this meditation you can use the following guide to help you:

Practise this meditation for 1 week.

Loving Kindness

This meditation allows us to focus on our heart centre and to fill ourselves for compassion. In mindfulness this is called loving kindness. An energy within us that loves us unconditionally for who we are at this moment, with no judging or restrictions.

In western society this is something we can very much struggle with. Culturally we brought up and taught that we should always improve, and that we always have issues, that we can become perfect if we solve the issues we have. So we often have a very judgmental view on ourselves and failings.

So this can be a hard meditation for some people to learn.

From a slave context it may feel strange for us to fill ourselves with loving kindness and not someone else. However as a slave we should still practise this. It is a way that we can achieve harmony in ourselves, and that balance and focus helps us to serve a Master even better.

The Loving guidance meditation goes through the following steps:

  • Focus on ourselves
  • Focus on someone else – like a close friend, lover, Master, slave – most people find this easier – and I would expect a slave would find this easier as well
  • Focus on someone we do not know that well – for example someone who serves us coffee every day
  • Focus on a difficult person: When you first start this start with someone easier. Maybe someone who has pissed you off. Do not start with someone who has caused you trauma or you have real difficulties with. Get used to the practise and work up to those sort of people.

Some of the audio guides I will provide miss out on the difficult person. I will also include a guide from my old instructor where the meditation starts with focussing on someone else first – as many people find it easier to start this mediation by focussing on someone else.

Experiment and find the one that is best for you.

I find this a very important meditation as I believe the heart centre, this unconditional love, is also the heart of slavery. This is the central source of the connection a slave has to worship and serve its Master.

By becoming aware of this centre, by learning to use it, and becoming more powerful in the using of it, we can increase the strength of our slave centre, and from that increase the energy of the connection to the Master and our service to Him.

The meditation can also help us let go of pains and hurts.

I have mentioned this person who broke my slave self. I was full of much anger and hate for what he had done for me. When I learnt this practise, I first used less difficult people as my difficult person to focus on. But after 4 months I started to make him my difficult person. And after another 4 -5 months I had let go of a lot of anger that I had for him. Letting go allowed me to move on. I would not say I have let go of all of the anger, but i have let go of most of it, and still try to let go of what is left. In doing this I have become a better person (and I hope slave). 

So this practise also helps us to slowly let go of people and issues that may stop us from letting go and giving into slavery.

I find this one of the most powerful meditations. The first time I did this meditation myself I burst into tears and cried through most of it. It was the first time in 33 years I had ever given myself a hug and told myself I was fine the way I was. 

Practise this meditation for 2 weeks.

Audio link:

Going forward

You should now have a good grasp of each of these meditations. Now keep on using them by keeping a good regular practice. Daily is best, but do what you can sustainably. On average my practise is every other day.

You which ever meditation feels best at the time, but do try and practise them all.

As you keep doing this, and as you keep practising mindfulness you should reach a deeper understanding of the concepts I have described here, and a deeper understanding of yourself.


Mindfulness: Finding Peace in a Frantic World

If you are interested in find out more about mindfulness or meditation. This is the original book that I read that started my journey to meditate, and all the discoveries I had on how to use it as a slave

Based on research by Oxford university, this is a scientific approach to meditation. Along with the scientifically proven benefits.

Find out about my other book recommendations.