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Important psychological points of a BDSM slave that any Master must learn

This article is the fourth and last in a series of articles on explaining the slave soul, and how to train a BDSM slave to bring it out. The articles are:

In the last article, I used the metaphor of training a BDSM slave is the same as to learn to play a musical instrument. Each slave is a different instrument – with different fetishes and BDSM needs – and a Master needs to learn how to play each individual slave. This means there is no one template or no one approach that works for every slave.

When learning to play different instruments, one can find commonalities between them. This is also similar to slaves. There are commonalities between them. I call these pressure points.

A Master needs to understand what combination of pressure points help bring out the slave soul. For each fetish slave it is different. A Master must learn to read and understand the slave, so they can bring the right pressure points that allow the slave soul to come out and be primary,

There are several pressure points a Master can use to help bring out the slave soul that this article will detail:

  • Safety
  • Humiliation / Debasement
  • Empathy and reading the slave
  • Encouragement / reassurance
  • Pain
  • Psychological / framing
  • Journey
  • Balance

Safety

The slave soul is a deep part of ourselves. When it becomes primary, it means a person is allowing themself to become very vulnerable.

Therefore a slave soul will only become primary with someone it trusts. So a Master needs to build and earn that trust over time.

If as a Master, you do not build the trust or take actions that destroy that trust, you will find your self dealing with the human part more and more, rather than the slave self.

When taking some of the later pressure points into account. A Master may challenge a slave out of their comfort area. But this can only happen effectively if there is trust and safety. Challenge on its own is not enough. Safety is also needed.

Encouragement/reassurance to the BDSM slave

As a person takes those brave steps to allow their slave soul to come out, the Master should reward and reassure the slave.

This can be as simple as a pat of the head and saying “good boy/slave” to the slave in training.

One Master used to have me on my knees looking at him directly into His eyes. As my slave self would come out, He could see it in my eyes, and would stroke my head and say good boy as one would to a dog. And this encouraged me to let go a little bit more and let the slave soul become more primary.

As mentioned in an earlier articlewhen someone allows their slave self to come out, there can be a tremendous amount of emotion. These emotions can be extreme.

If this occurs, the human is starting to lose control of everything, including their own emotions.

If you do not know this is going to happen, it can be terrifying for the slave. In the western world, we are not bought up to allow such deep emotions to take over us.

The Master’s job is to help reassure the slave and let them know it is OK. When things are less intense, the Master should also consider checking in with the slave to make sure they are OK with what happened, and if necessary, reassure and explain what happened.

Two stories

I have two stories as an example: I stayed at a masters house who I had slowly been serving more frequently to become his 24/7 slave. At one point, he told me that I needed to beg for my food. When I could not do it, he went to walk away with the food. I found myself suddenly on the floor, crying and begging him to eat. I believe this is the reaction he wanted to get for me. For me, it was the first time I had such an intense emotional reaction like this.

But there was no reassurance and explanation. For myself, this emotional reaction had never happened before, and I did not know what was going on. (At this point in time I did not have the knowledge that I am putting into these articles).

So I was really frightened about why I acted like this, and the master purposefully left me feeling very confused and scared. He even shamed me for acting like this, and I also felt ashamed to react like this. In the end, it held me back from wanting to go that deep again.

In the second story, it is a year later, and I am with a different Master. I was worshipping his boots, cock and body. He commanded me to take off His boots and socks and worship His feet. I felt both of His feet to the sides of my head. I reached out with my hands to pull His feet tight to my head, and I twisted my head to the side, and my tongue touched the skin of His foot. At that moment, I burst into tears, sobbing with happiness.

The Master’s response was to say “welcome home”, and He leaned over and patted my back.

I could have easily been scared again, but His phrase; “Welcome home,” reassured and made me feel safe as my slave self became primary, and I exposed my most vulnerable self.

Reassure

How you reassure, and in what way will depend on each individual slave, and it is the role of the Master to figure this out.

If this is new to someone, it is expected that they could feel a lot of shame for liking something that the mainstream human would not, and for emotional reactions that are generally frowned upon in normal western society. A Master should be there to help the slave understand they have not done anything wrong, and it is healthy to fulfil the slave soul’s needs.

A Master who is not used to these emotions might be a bit shocked as well. Feel free to ask for feedback: A question such as: “Tell me what is going on for your slave? or “Are you feeling good slave?” or checking in with safety words, traffic lights can be a way of knowing all is OK.

As time goes on, your skill and empathy will improve to understand better when this occurs. But in the meantime, check-in, be curious, learn and improve.

Pain / SM

This is not be confused with hitting a slave so much they beg for it to stop. But pain can have a role with slaves. To help them open up to, to feel the dominance of the Master.

Again this depends on the individual slave. For some, like myself, it is not needed much – but is still needed at times! But for others, their need and want to feel the BDSM pain from the Master to open up is far greater. 

An example from myself was a Master who used candle wax on me while I was tied to a chair. Three candles were burning and dripping wax on me simultaneously, and he would move them very close and apart from my body. As he did this, He purposely played a particular song, and with the lyrics and feel of the hot wax, my slave self opened up to Him.

Another Master did something similar but told me not to yell or make noise but to look into His eyes and give the energy of the pain to him by staring into his eyes as He dripped wax onto me.

Psychological framing of the BDSM slave

From a psychological perspective, how do you frame things to the slave that allows their slave soul to come out?

An example of framing would be to build longing up in a slave. Perhaps a slave loves to suck cock; perhaps the slave loves the smell of Your sweat. When you know this, you can then through your orders get the slave closer and closer to what they desire to do, but not allow them to do it.

I once had a Master who would put me into positions; one position was to have my hands behind my back kneeling. He would typically be standing close to me with his groin or cock very close to my mouth. But there was no order to worship Him. Instead, He let the longing build within me, and He used that longing to make me serve Him better.

By building up the longing and the want, a slave will become more ready to open up and beg.

Opening the slave to accept things

Another example of framing is a situation where there is a task or behaviour the Master would like, but the slave does want to do. Perhaps you notice that whenever you mention to the slave about worshipping your feet, they get a little grossed out, but the cock becomes hard.

You can keep mentioning it to the slave, but at the same time, sexually turn them, for example, by rubbing their nipples. Perhaps you order the slave to say they want something, and as they do, you sexually arose them. Slowly and over time, the slave can become ready to heartfully do what you want them to do – rather than pretend or act.

There are many stories of slaves that originally hated something that grew to love it because of the training of their Master.

NOTE: Psychological control and framing is an essential part of any Masters toolkit, but it can also be used to abuse and manipulate someone in unethical ways – please view this article for more information to protect yourself.

Humiliation / Debasement

Using the right amount of humiliation in the right way can help a slave to go deeper and feel more slave life.

Some of the things I have come across are:

  • Changing how a slave speaks – from what they say to how they speak – such as only speaking with their tongue out
  • Drinking piss
  • Being covered in piss
  • Worshipping Master’s boots/feet
  • Licking the ground
  • Licking the toilet
  • Being written on
  • Verbal – and being told things that engage the slave
  • Eating from a bowl, eating from the floor

There are so so many ways you can do this, and it is finding the ones that work for the slave you are training, and you also enjoy as a Master.

One thing to be aware of is to use the right humiliation at the right time. Using the wrong tactic, or applying some at the wrong time can backfire, and have the opposite effect.

It is also worth noting the reason why you humiliate. A Master can humiliate in what I would call an unethical manner. Some people need to make someone else feel small and unworthy to validate themselves. Abusive relationship of any sort is an example of this. To constantly make someone feel bad about themselves.

But when I talk about humiliation and debasement, I am talking about empowering the slave soul to become primary. When this is done to bring the slave soul out and shine, it is being used correctly. So a slave should enjoy it, it feels right for them, and it helps them become more slave – and therefore, it is something both Master and slave will want to celebrate.

So I recommend as a Master to focus on how you empower the slave. And for a slave to checking in with themselves: Did what happen to them feel right and good at that moment, or is the Master being abusive – check out this link for more information.

Journey and Balance to bring out the slave soul

Remember the process to bring out a slave soul is a journey. Unless there is an unusually fantastic connection with a slave, bringing out the slave soul takes time over many sessions.

Time is needed to build trust on both sides, to learn how the slave works and operates, and which techniques to use at the right point.

Suppose you try and go to deep, to debase to deeply and quickly, the slave might not be ready and might reject that. And instead of having a slave soul become primary, you have the human self remain primary and harden.

A Master must also figure out the right balance of all the different pressure points I have mentioned above. A slave might need all or some of what I have mentioned – as well as the things I have forgotten to mention). The Master needs to figure out the right level of humiliation, safety, pain, support, encouragement and psychological pressure that an individual slave needs. 

And then the Master needs to tailor the journey using these pressure points. At what point do you use what technique and how strongly. What is inappropriate at the start of a session might be exactly the right tool later on. The Master is the musician, and he needs to figure out what song to play that will bring out the slave soul.

When the BDSM slave soul opens up through training

When this occurs, it can be intense. I have provided examples of myself with the vast emotions that have rushed through me. You are also connecting with potent energies inside the body which can produce physical and emotional reactions.

A side effect of this can be extreme shaking of the body, crying, or intense laughter, or eyes rolling to the back of the head.

So if you end up having an extreme reaction, it might be Your slave self was opening up. I know some people who have got upset over someone who could stop laughing or burst in tears. Instead, recognise it as a side effect of connecting to something very intense.

For the Master, it can also be alarming. For example, when are eyes rolling to the back of the head a sign of danger, or a sign of the slave connecting with something extraordinary?

The Master might need to back out of it the first few times if He is worried about the slave’s health, or not sure what is going on. This is fine. Get feedback back – talk over what happened and if there was any risk. And then in the next session, try again.

Conclusion

Over these four articles, we have learnt about the slave soul, the role of heartfelt begging, and some of the tactics you can use.

Each person that wants to be a slave has these two aspects – the human and the slave soul. A Master’s role is to use empathy and understanding to figure out what the slave soul needs to become primary. To listen and divine what this soul needs and bring the right pressure points to bear – be it affection, pain, psychological, humiliation or many more. A Master must become a musician that learns how to play the slave, and then play the melody.

When both Master and slave can trust each other to go on this journey, both Master and slave can delight in discovering the service of the slave soul. The manifestation of heartfelt begging.

What I have written here will seem hard and daunting, and it should be. For the Master to learn how to do this, and for the slave to find a Master, they can trust enough to allow this vulnerable slave soul to become primary. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it. 

For myself as a slave – there is nothing as holy and beautiful as when my slave self can be primary and serve the Master.

And for a Master, there is no more remarkable testament to their skill, and the courage and bravery of their slave, when they have heartfelt service of a slave soul.