I cannot be a Master/slave; I look too..

Men standing together in a studio without shirts. Four body positive young men looking at the camera confidently. Group of self-assured men embracing their natural bodies.

I first engaged with the BDSM scene and found Masters using Recon and other now-defunct websites. Then several years later, I started to attend some BDSM bars, including the S.M. Gays event in London (perfect for beginners). Before I finally started to attend some of the larger events, such as European Folsom and Berlin Leather Easter.

One thing I found with myself was that I constantly compared myself to these fantastic, good-looking people. People that looked far better than I ever could.

And I’ve had my fill of rude, arrogant people on Recon telling me I am too fat or not muscled enough – or when I put on muscle – I am now too big.

And then, after I broke up with my last Master, I put on a lot of weight. I went from the muscled slave everyone looked at to becoming very overweight, and I felt terrible about my appearance.

But then I headed to a fetish club – a place where you had very serious people do BDSM play, and I learnt something fundamental that I want to share with you.

When it comes to the Master/slave Lifestyle and more serious BDSM – this group of people comes in all shapes and sizes. It does not matter if you are too big, too small or what ethnicity you are. It is about mutual interests.

It took me 15 years to realise this. That is 15 years of feeling bad about myself.

So if you think you do not have the right body shape to fit in. Please know that you do.

Discover the people who like your body type and the serious play you are into (or want to start experiencing), and go play.

This is true of age as well – I know of one slave who found his 24/7 Master at age 65.

So no matter how you look or your age, you can still be a Master or slave.