How does a Master encourage a BDSM slave to beg on order and mean it? How does a Master train a slave, so their slave soul becomes primary?

A Master need to divine what the slave needs and wants (normal, slave, and BDSM) to become primary for the slave part. Is it pain, or is it affection? How does the slave feel safe? What sort of debasement and control activates the slave soul more, and what sort of things turn the slave off?

This article is the third in a series of articles including:

Unfortaently there is no one template, no single way to do this, each slave is unique, and a Master has to customise their training to suit the slave.

Think of a slave as a musical instrument, and the Master needs to learn to play that instrument. To play an instrument well, you need to practice repeatedly to play well. However, when learning more than one instrument, you learn some techniques and practices are shared across them.

This is also true with learning how to train a slave for the slave soul to come out. In this article, I will cover several pressure points that a Master can learn. 

Although what combination, force and use of the pressure points will differ across slaves, these pressure points will be there.

There are several pressure points a Master can use to help bring out the slave soul that this article will detail.

  • Safety
  • Humiliation / Debasement
  • Empathy and reading the slave
  • Encouragement / reassurance
  • Pain
  • Psychological / framing
  • Journey
  • Balance

In the next article we will go into the detail on the pressure points, but in this article we will cover how a Master should approach training.

Health warning

But first a health warning. Please be aware this is advanced and requires a high level of trust for the slave.

If you are a slave reading this, you must make sure that you trust the Master, or allow the trust to grow slowly before allowing yourself to become vulnerable enough to let your slave soul become primary. There are a number of bad actors on the scene, and if you open to the wrong person they will take advantage of it, and you will end up very hurtplease read here for more information.

The importance of Empathy and reading the BDSM slave

An essential skill for a Master when bringing out the slave soul is to read the slave.

Each slave is wired differently. How one slave reacts to a particular technique will be different from another. Therefore, a Master needs to figure out how the slave they are with is wired. How can they play the slave well to use the musical instrument analogy?

This is done through experimentation; you do something to a slave and see what the reaction is. But experimentation only works if you can understand the slave’s reactions. To do this, a Master needs to understand how and why the slave is reacting.

I have a saying: “A slave’s cock never lies.”

The more turned on a slave is getting at something, even if they might be looking like they do not like it, can be a sign that you are engaging and bringing out their slave side. It is also why it can be useful not to have the slave in chastity at times so you can see the cocks reaction.

But of course, a lack of a hardon might not mean you are failing either, and in any case, a slave’s hardon is not always the most important thing to read. You also need to read their body language. How does the slave react to you? The slave’s breathing, the slave’s body trembling, or even their stillness, and what do these reactions mean for the individual slave in front of you.

What heavy breathing means for one person – excited, can be something different for someone else – struggling. A Master needs to understand how each slave works, to read the reactions and understand them.

This is a skill that is learnt over time.

I also used the word empathy. Some people can believe a Master should not have empathy or even care about the slave. I believe this is not true. The only way for a Master to read a slave, to understand what they need for their slave self to become primary, is by having empathy and reading the slave.

Ways of receiving feedback include:

  • Using empathy, 
  • Speaking with the slave during a session,
  • Speaking after a session, 
  • Ordering a slave to send a report after a scene with a focus on how they were thinking and feeling
  • Diary that they share

Failing

When learning to play an instrument, you make mistakes. So a Master will also do this when learning how to play and train a slave.

Rather than trying not to make a mistake – as this is impossible, the Master should embrace this, and use failures as opportunities to learn. By embracing the fact, a Master will make mistakes takes some pressure of the Master.

Learning from failure requires humility from the Master, and to know the Master should not blame the slave when something goes wrong as it is the Master’s fault.

It also means that when a Master does not know how to train or play the slave correctly, they make sure any failures are small and easy to rectify.

For example, a Master makes an assumption with a particular slave that using pain and a robust approach with a slave will bring out the slave soul. The Master could start whipping the slave immediately to do this. But if they are wrong, the slave had probably closed up completely.

Now imagine if a Master starts lightly with using pain and see what sort of reaction they get. And then they amplify and change in small steps based on the reactions. If they get a bad reaction at some point, they can move back a step, learning from the experience and can try something else. This sort of approach allows for failure and to take a step back without having to stop the session or training. 

However, larger mistakes can happen that stop a session. The Master needs to have a dialogue with the slave to see what happened and how trust can be restored. Some Masters believe that apologising means they lose strength with the slave. I disagree. When you are trying to build a strong trust to allow the slave to be completely vulnerable to bring out the slave soul, apologising can be one of the best things you can do to rebuild trust.

Conclusion

Imagine the slave like a musical instrument that you need to learn to play, though experimentation and learning read and understand the slave. Work on your empathy, and take an approach that allows you to learn from failure and to take a step by step approach to become better.

In the next article, we will cover the pressure point that can be used in training.