The political landscape in the USA is shifting rapidly, and LGBTQ+ and fetish communities are already feeling the impact. Censorship is expanding, companies are retreating from DEI commitments, and ideological attacks are escalating. The question is not if this will affect us—but how we will respond.
I write this while recovering from yet another hospital stay earlier this year, which has given me time to reflect—but also limited my capacity to engage fully. Even so, what I see unfolding is too important to ignore. But these are my thoughts as of start of February 2024
DEI and Corporate Rollbacks
Even in poor health, I’ve been shocked at how fast companies like Facebook dropped DEI policies. Some never valued LGBTQ+ rights—this was just the excuse they needed.
Yet other companies are standing fast (at the bottom of the article, I have a list of both companies- please let me know of corrections or other things to add).
How Crises Are Being Used to Erase LGBTQ+ Rights
Last night, I heard Trump blame a tragic air crash in Washington on DEI. This is the pattern: twisting tragedies to push an agenda. Right now, they’re targeting DEI. Soon, it will be LGBTQ+ rights.
More LGBTQ+ & Fetish Websites Are Being Banned—Here’s How to Protect Yourself
One of these attacks is already happening online, with increased censorship of LGBTQ+ and fetish spaces. This includes porn but also websites such as TeamLocked.men. It is only a matter of time before this list widens to other websites on the fetish scene or even LGBTQ+ content.
Governments are expanding “obscenity” laws to block LGBTQ+ and fetish websites, and the list of banned sites will only grow. If you want to ensure your access is protected, a VPN is essential. Information on VPNs and how to set them up can be found in this article I created.
What else can we do
What can fetish individuals, LGBTQ+ individuals, and our communities do about this?
Thoughtful Resistance: Choosing Where & How to Take a Stand
Before reacting, take a step back. What choices align with your values? What actions can you take that genuinely make an impact?
But this should not be done in anger. It should not be done as an instant emotional reaction but with much thought. And we care we do not share others for making a different decision.
For example:
- My current pair of leather boots is Harley-Davidson, and I cannot afford 250 euros for a new pair. However, I have decided to stop using McDonald’s (a guilty secret of mine is that I love McDonald’s), and after more thought, I will also contact them about my decision.
- I also need to consider whether I should continue using Instagram or WhatsApp, but I have not decided yet. This is partly because I have been recovering from another trip to the hospital and have been struggling to think clearly for the last few weeks. However, it is also not easy to change these.
After much thought, I moved my Harry Potter books to the cellar. Over time, I became uneasy about keeping them visible, given JK Rowling’s comments on trans people. Instead of reacting immediately, I researched JK Rowling’s words, reading news articles and her Twitter feed. Some of her posts were nuanced, but others contained a clear transphobic angle. From this, I decided to move the books into the cellar.
Even after deciding to put the books away, I reflected on what this meant. I might have struggled more if it had been something meaningful to me—like Star Trek. That helped me understand why others might choose differently.
Each of us must be aware of the risks of a blanket boycott. Instead, we should make informed, value-based decisions that align with our integrity while respecting others who navigate this differently.
Think about what you want and can do based on your values and constraints. And also how you can empathise with someone who might make a different decision.
Stand Together: Supporting LGBTQ+ Allies & Avoiding Internal Divisions
When frustration builds, it’s tempting to lash out at those closest to us—whether it’s the LGBTQ+ or fetish community. But ask yourself: does this change anything? Or does it just weaken our collective strength?
It is natural for humans to feel attacked and need to find something or someone to express their anger. This reaction comes from feeling powerless, and by finding someone or something we can successfully attack, we can feel powerful again.
But attacking each other for something we perceive as wrong or vile, although it can make us feel better, self-righteous or powerful, does not change the more significant issues of who is attacking us and can cause more people to retreat and hide.
Some companies are still standing by us despite government and conservative pressure. They won’t always get it right—for example, an advertisement might miss the mark—but their intent matters. Attacking them for minor missteps risks driving away our remaining allies.
They are trying to be allies, and we can honour that even if they do make mistakes.
It’s easier to attack those closest to us
It can be easy to attack those in our group or our allies, as they are closer to us, and we feel we have more control to influence or attack them than a far-right government in power.
However, if we attack people in our community, companies and other allies, they will withdraw and stop trying. We can help educate them and gently help them learn when they mess up, but let’s be aware of the potential consequences of lashing out.
This is important to remember, as unless we are careful, this behaviour will vastly increase the more powerless and attacked we become.
Think about how you can manage your anger and sense of powerlessness without attacking those close to you and our allies.
Build Stronger LGBTQ+ Communities: How We Can Support Each Other
We also need to create forums and a community that can help support us in these times.
I often use a technique from Theory U, where people can discuss how they want to move forward or feel blocked by something.
In this group, no advice is given, but through generative listening, people respond to what emerges in them. In doing so, they profoundly reflect on and affirm their experiences. It’s a transformative experience.
In my experience of burnout, I have been taken aback by the scant validation or affirmation I have received from those I know. This is often because no one comprehends what I have endured, so how can they affirm or validate my experience?
However, when I participated in these groups, individuals with experiences utterly different from mine could reflect in a manner that made me feel heard and my experiences understood, to the extent that it brought me to tears.
These forums could be established within our community and serve as a means for us to connect and understand one another without resorting to attacks on each other or our allies. They may also allow us to heal and progress deeper, enabling us to tackle these issues effectively.
I am starting to facilitate these workshops more often, and if this is something you are interested in, let me know.
Community is our strongest defence. Who can you turn to? And how can you help create the spaces we all need?
What We Can Learn from History
A book called From Dictatorship to Democracy discusses how to bring societal change even in the worst circumstances. If you are looking for help on how to bring about chnage, this book is a must-read.
Stay Connected: Alternatives to Big Tech & Censored Platforms
With Facebook’s capitulation and Jeff Bezos’s embrace of Trump, we must ensure that internet infrastructure and communication cannot be turned off. Amazon now runs the backend of much of the internet. Social media (especially Meta or Twitter) could start filtering and cutting us off. So, we must look for other options. We can keep communicating in a way that is not easily turned off.
This will require federated and de-centralised solutions like Mastodon and going back to old-school techniques such as email and bulletin boards.
I need to do more research on this, so please let me know if you have any solutions or suggestions.
Real Resilience: How to Stay Strong in the Face of Attacks
We need to keep going despite relentless attacks. We can protect ourselves by not doom-scrolling—stay informed about what is happening but do not spend your entire time on the news and social media feeds. We can also use the support in our community and create support groups to help and be thoughtful about our actions. Choose to respond thoughtfully rather than emotionally reacting.
Remember: True resilience comes not from maintaining a polished facade but from allowing it to break—so we can uncover our deeper virtue beneath it. In a world that thrives on shame and ideological attacks, real courage is choosing authenticity over performance or lashing out.
But let’s not pretend this is easy. Ask yourself: “What scares me about doing this?” What would happen if I showed up more vulnerably? If I admit, I don’t have all the answers. If I risk being seen for who I really am? And most importantly, who could I share that fear with instead of hiding it?
If enough of us start to act—if we begin supporting and affirming one another in this process—we can create a more profound shift in how we talk about resilience and navigating the crises and challenges facing us today. The change we need doesn’t start with fear, anger, or performance—it starts with showing up together with courage.
What will you do?
This fight isn’t just political—it’s personal. The choices we make now will define the future of our communities, whether we help the community or take thoughtful action and respond.
How are you preparing? What actions are you taking to protect LGBTQ+ spaces? Let’s start a conversation.
If you’re ready to help build community-led resilience groups, let’s connect.
Companies that dropped DEI
- Target
- Amazon
- McDonald’s
- Walmart
- Molson Coors
- Ford
- John Deere
- Lowe’s
- Harley Davidson
- Brown Forman
- Tractor Supply Co.
- Toyota Motor Corp,
- Boeing
Companies that have refused to drop DEI
- Goldman Sachs
- Costco and
- JPMorgan
- Chase & Co
- Deutsche Bank
- Costco
- Apple
- Microsoft
- e.l.l Beauty
- Cisco
- Delta
- Salesforce