Kink Proud: Overcoming shame

Information:

  • E-Book
  • 83 pages
  • 16,000 words
  • 17 Practical exercises

Book Description

Break free from shame and guilt, stop fitting in, and proudly live your desires with the Kink Proud Handbook.

$18.99

BLOCKED in the Master/slave Lifestyle OR YOUR KINKS

What stops us from living our kinks

You’re already out on the fetish scene but still hiding what you really want

Many people, even if they are out on the fetish scene, hide what they really want – be that desires or how they want to dress – for fear of not fitting in

You’re worried there is something wrong with you or you’re defective in some way

Many people, when wanting to indulge in their fetishes, kinks and the need for power exchange, worry there is something deeply wrong with them

You’ll be seen as weak and soft as a person by embracing your submissiveness

slaves and submissives often believe that their submission means they’re weak and defective.


Some even wonder how they can be a leader in the workplace but a submissive at home.



You’ll be abandoned and alone

Many people worry about what their friends, colleagues, and family would think about them if they knew what they really desired and wanted – be it fetish or being a Master or slave. They would hate and abandon them, and everyone would turn their back on them.



Even those who are already out in the fetish scene can think like this.

Or you’ll be rejected if you were honest about what you really wanted

Why do we struggle to accept our kinks and fetishes?

It’s because of shame

Often, when we want to embrace our kinks and fetishes, to indulge in power exchange and the Master/slave lifestyle, we are stopped by shame.


We are psychologically wired to fit in and belong, and many people fear what would happen if they took that step into living their desires.

A wave of shame can hit many people after taking the step to explore their kinks and fetishes. Even though they enjoy themselves and feel like they are finally accepting who they are, they can be ashamed of what they have done.

But many people don’t realise it’s shame stopping them

But would it surprise you that many people do not recognise these feelings as shame?

Instead of shame, we often feel the need for validation or the lack of it. Shame is transformed into a search for validation and approval.

This is especially true for gay men.

But this is often true for anyone – of any sex or sexuality – who needs to embrace their kinks, fetishes and desires in the Master/slave lifestyle.

We are so attuned to needing validation and fitting in that we will block ourselves from exploring our authentic fetishes to protect ourselves from the risk of not fitting in or being judged.

This is why so many people will block themselves from moving forward.

But there is a way forward to transform your kink shame into pride

We cannot destroy deep shame, but we can build resilience to it

By building resilience, we can allow who we truly are to come forward

We stop caring about others and become confident in ourselves

We can then start to embrace our kinks and desires, to come out with them

In doing so, we find we’re happier and can still belong and not be rejected.

Stop worrying what others think of you

I’ve created a handbook

I have taken the latest psychological research on shame and created a handbook.

This handbook is written in a straightforward, accessible manner with practical exercises that help you move forward.

And it specifically deals with how shame interacts with gay men and people with different sexuality, including the deep need for kinks and fetishes.

It’s split into 5 sections:

Section 1

Why a gay man and kinkster does not feel shame (but actually does)

This section details how shame operates. It covers the specifics of how gay men and kinksters of any sexuality can experience shame in a different and why.

In this section, you will learn about the need for approval and validation and why the fear of losing that approval can be so crucial for gay men that it can rule our lives.

And what we can do to stop this of approval and shame is by creating resilience and transforming that shame into pride.

Section 2

Understanding Your Own Kink Shame

The first step to building resilience is to recognise our own experiences and patterns with validation and shame. Along with how we feel shame and what our primary triggers are.

For example, a trigger for validation can be when we feel ignored by someone or something that we believe shows us as weak.

We can also spend a lot of time focusing on how we want people to see us and the things we never want people to see in us.

Section 3

Critical awareness

After we have developed an understanding of how our individual shame and validation work, we need to understand their sources.

This can come from our past and the world around us.

For example, society says a man must be strong and powerful. This is why it can be challenging to be submissive. A submissive person feels he is going against everything society, family, and marketing say he should be. This is why exploring our submissive sides can be challenging.

This section helps you understand where your sources of shame and validation come from.

Section 4

The importance of speaking shame

In this section of the handbook, we discuss the importance of speaking shame and why we can be so reluctant to do so.

Often, we keep our shame secret. And in that secrecy, the shame grows exponentially. This is why when someone goes to their first fetish event, they can feel so amazing. They have transformed their shame into pride. They are no longer hiding.

Section 5

How to break free

The final section is about talking with trusted people about what you are ashamed. And by doing so, how shame releases the hold it has on you.

But speaking it is hard – will we seriously tell anyone about this? Of course not.

Many of my clients were already out on the fetish scene but still struggled to talk about what they wanted and needed. They struggled to talk about their desires. And this was because of their shame.

This section helps you identify the people in your life you can talk to or how to find them.

And then, in going forward, how can you finally give voice to your desires

Imagine having amazing sex with your kinks and fetishes without any guilt

What’s in the handbook

16,000 words over 80 pages

17 exercises

17 simple, straightforward, concise exercises that help move you forward.

Personal anecdotes

From myself and others to help you understand concepts and exercises.

Specific help for gay men

Gay men interpret shame very differently from hetero sexualities. I specifically go into this and what a gay man needs to be aware of.

 Based on best practice research on shame for all sexes and sexualities

Including jungian psychology, shadow work, gay shame research, and male and women shame research

Clear actions to move you forward

So you can transform shame into pride.

Unleash your Kinks and fetishes

Who is it for?

For Masters and slaves, Dominants and submissives wanting a relationship

People who want to bring Master/slave kink into their relationship(s)

People who want to explore outside of their existing relationship(s)

People who want to find someone special for intense Master/slave play

For those making their first steps into kink and fetish AND for those who are already in the scene but struggling to be themselves.

It helps not just with kink and sex

This will help you in all areas of you life

fashion, male, man

At work

At home

Woman in Black and White Stripe Long Sleeve Shirt Sitting Beside Woman in Red Long Sleeve

With friends and family

On the gay and fetish scene

Practical exercises and advice you can put into action right now

About Me

I’ve spent 20 years exploring and experiencing 24/7 Master/slave relationships. My unique experiences as both Master and slave allow me to understand and help people on both sides of the power exchange spectrum.



I’m now a Master looking for a deep connection with the slaves I train, and I’m slowly looking to build my own leather family of 24/7 slaves.



For 20 years, I was a slave, leading to a global exploration of the Master/slave scene, serving Masters long-term and 24/7 from East Coast Australia to the West Coast of the USA and South Africa to Finland.



My journeys had incredible times but also dark times. But through these, I have learned what the reality of the Master/slave lifestyle is and how to live it.



As a coach and educator, I now help others avoid my mistakes, find what they really need, and have the courage to find the Master/slave for them. I also help those already experienced in the M/S lifestyle.

I have appeared in numerous publications and have participated in panels and workshops at numerous events worldwide, including the Master/slave Conference, Darklands, CLAW, The Village Berlin, and Recon.

Find out more

MY PROJECTS
Master/slave & Kink Coaching
Gay Confidence Coaching
Career Coaching
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Designed to be read on mobile, tablet and desktop

★★★★★

I feel much more open to being myself and willing to write and speak my boundaries, so I can live trusting myself and my needs instead of living with shame and fear in daily life.

Daniel

Read more testimonials

Is this suitable for me?

For anyone interested in power exchange

If you are interested in power exchange, this suits you!

Everything on the website, including the books, courses, and coaching, is designed to help anyone interested in power exchange,
regardless of what term they use to identify themselves.

Beginners & Advanced

If you are just starting out and looking to take the first steps with your desires, I have you covered. I hand hold you step by step of the way.

For those already experienced but wanting to explore power exchange further, I can help you do so and deal with any blockers you may have.

Be it in a relationship or already in one.

Masters & slave

I have been both Master and slave, so I understand both perspectives, including the struggles and challenges of both roles.

My books, courses, and coaching reflect my understanding of both the dominant and submissive sides, giving you a unique perspective to help you move forward in your journey.

Any sex and sexuality

Although I write from my experience as a gay cis man, all that I write and create is suitable for all sexes and sexuality.

I am also demisexual – so you will see a strong thread of mindful connection in all of my work.

Kink Proud: Overcoming shame

Helping people shed shame, stop seeking approval from others, and embrace their desires with pride and freedom

Get what you want without worrying

Embrace your fetishes and kinks, and stop worrying about what others might think of you

Based on best practice research

Based on the latest research on shame for gay men, along with specific research on women and men

Stop hiding yourself

Dress how you want and finally start asking for your desires to be fulfilled rather than hiding it

Specific help for gay men and kinksters

How gay men and kinksters can transform shame into validation and people-pleasing

E-Book

Kink Proud:
Overcoming Shame

$18.99

83 pages
16,000 words
17 Exercises
Easy to read on mobile, tablet and computer
For those taking their first steps in the kink and fetish scene
For those in the scene but struggling to be themselves
For Masters and slaves
For those struggling to embrace their fetishes and kinks

Frequently Asked Questions

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Light & Shadow

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The secrets of power exchange

E-book
50,000 words
150 pages
Many exercises

Kink Proud: Overcoming shame

$18.99

Transform your shame to pride

E-book
16,000 words
83 pages
16 exercises

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Both E-books
66,000 words
233 pages
30+ exercises to move you forward in your kink and Master/slave journey

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