Learning how create energy between Master and slave – part 1

True slavery is about emotions and feelings. The thought becomes secondary. With a Master you can trust, you can let go and allow Him to think for you. To allow His orders, needs and wants to drive your actions. And you become a vessel of all of your emotions, and you allow that energy to drive your service.

A good Master will take this energy and craft it into the service He wants from You.

When I trust a Master to give completely, I start to truly become the emotions and energy in my body and letting go of my mind. I focus everything on Him, giving to Him with all my heart, putting all my energy to carrying out His orders.

Have you ever served someone (or been served by someone), and it felt incredible?

Often it is because there is a connection between the two of you, and that connection is an energy. An energy that feels greater than the sum of what the two of you are putting into the connection.

Deep slavery is about the feelings and emotions you feel, and these are used to serve the Master in a deep intense connection. This connection is based on the energy of these emotions and feelings.

In heavy power exchange a central part is in the connection between the Master and the slave.

This is something that often happens subconsciously and with no effort between the people involved, and often people have an intuitive way of creating and channeling this energy.

However, this energy and connection is something that be broken down and understood. And in that understanding you can learn to become better and more powerful at using it.

It is a skill that can be learnt.

In this set of articles I will detail the steps a slave can take to do this. These steps may also help a Master, but being a slave I can only speak from a slaves point of view.

And if you are a Master then find out how mindfulness could help you.

How did I learn this?

A number of years ago I met a person who labelled themselves as a Master who treated me very badly and broke my slave self into bits. Over the next years I had to learn to put my slave self back together and relearn how to serve.

Before I had met this person many Tops and Master were pleased with how I served and the connection we had. This was something I did naturally and without thought. But after my slave self was broken I found when I was able to start serving again that something was missing. At the time, I had no idea what was missing or how I could get it back. I did not even have a way of describing what was missing. Just that my service was wrong and lacking in something.

Over a period of two years I explored myself to find out what was missing, and how I could get it back. In doing so I started to understand myself better, and found out how my slavery worked. And in that understanding I was able to become even better at connecting and serving with someone than I ever had before.

What follows is a summary of how you can learn to do the same.

No short cuts

Unfortunately this is a long process, and will take months to learn. It is a skill you will need to practice repeatedly and to develop over time.

So do not expect this to be an instant easy fix.

Master Matthew

I also want to give a special thanks to Master Matthew who helped me learn this. Over the course of a year He had patiently told me in many different ways that slavery was about emotion. As I was cut off from my emotions and feelings it was very hard to understand what He was talking about (because at the time I had no idea that I was cut off from my emotions and feelings). But thanks to his persistence I finally had the experiences that allowed me to understand what He was saying, and to reopen myself up to the path of true slavery.

Meditation

The main tool we will learn to help you understand and amplify your connection to a Master is meditation.

Meditation teaches you the skills that allow you to think about yourself differently, and through using these skills you start to understand yourself in a different way. You cannot understand by just reading about it. You can only understand through the experience of practising meditation.

Therefore it is important to realise that many of the concepts I will talk about you will only truly understand after you have practised enough.

I like to think as meditation as a muscle. And like any sports or exercise you only get better by training it. If you do not train it, it becomes weak.

There may be other techniques you can use other than meditation, but I am not aware of them, and this is why I will use meditating as the main tool here.

I originally learnt meditation through participating in an 8 week mindfulness course. Mindfulness is based on research at Oxford University and is not based on religion. You can find out more about mindfulness here.

You can find similar courses all over the world. Even where I now in Berlin you can find an 8 week mindfulness courses in English, along with many more in German. You want to find a mindfulness based cognitive therapy course (MBCT)

However if you cannot afford this, you can also buy a book called: Mindfulness: Peace in a Frantic World that explain this much better than I can. There are also many courses on Udemy, though I do not know how good the quality is. (For those who do not know Udemy is a website where you can enrol on a course. It has sales on all of the time, so it is cheap to buy a course).

You can also use the steps I detail in this article.

For me I needed the structure (and expense) of an 8 week course in order to make me really learn this and keep going. When I just had the book I was not able to go past the second week.

Perhaps if you are lucky you will have a Master that ensure you will keep practising past the 2 weeks, or you have a better discipline than me to keep going.

Mindfulness consists of using many different meditations. But for the purpose of using this to help in building a connection I will focus on 3 main meditations you can use:

  • Breathing and body scan, also known as meditation of the body and breath
  • Being with difficulty meditation
  • Loving kindness meditation

Learning mindfulness is a journey and it will take many weeks to learn. DO NOT try and and learn these all at the same time otherwise it will not work. DO NOT try and rush. Think of it as training a muscle. It only gets better by training it repeatedly. You cannot shortcut this approach.

Beware

Please also note, sometimes people can struggle with these meditations. If you have spent a lifetime trying to avoid feeling things in your body. It can be hard at first to open up. I am also aware that people that have been abused, can also struggle with meditations such as the body scan.

If you are struggling, I suggest seeking support from a trained and accredited Mindfulness instructor. When I did my course there were a number of people who did struggle, but as time went on they found these meditations very useful. But they had the help and support of the group and instructor.

There can also be issues if you are suffering from depression or other mental illnesses. I will talk about depression briefly at the end of part 3, but if you are worried please again seek support from an accredited instructor.

What actually is meditation

I will briefly detail what meditation is and is not, as it is common for people to have misconceptions. My interpretation comes from how it is taught in Mindfulness. I am aware there are others, but for this article I shall keep it to the way I was taught in mindfulness.

Misconception: Emptying your mind

Mindfulness is not about making you mind go blank. Mindfulness is about becoming aware of your thoughts. We often think we are our thoughts. But mindfulness allows us to take a step back and become an observer of those thoughts.

We become aware of what we are thinking about. For example perhaps we get angry. Normally  we become the anger and submerge into it. With mindfulness, we instead become aware of it, we observe the feelings and the thoughts. We allow ourselves to feel it, but we do not submerge into it. Instead we observe and can see how the anger builds and then subsides, before observing the next emotion.

A metaphor I like is the mind as a vast lake by a mountain range. Our thoughts and feelings are the clouds and storms that pass over the lake. So there are times where the lake and sky are calm, and others when rain clouds and storms pass over the lake. Mindfulness allows us to observe these clouds and storms passing by.

A personal story I can give to describe this is when I was learning mindfulness after this person had broken my slave self. I could not stop thinking about what he had done, and I felt a lot of anger and pain. My mind would loop constantly over what had happened to me again and again.

After some months of trying to meditate I started to notice a difference. Rather than feeling angry at the Master and looping the story of what happened in my head repeatedly, I found myself observing I was feeling angry at the Master. But instead of becoming the anger and being carried away by it, I was able observe it. Not pushing it away, not becoming angry at it, but just to let it be. And after a while the feeling of anger faded and went.

I was able to do this observing more and more, and very quickly my friends noticed a big difference in me.

Remember: This is something that starts to make much more sense when you start to practice meditation.

As you learn to become more mindful, you mind starts to become more peaceful, and your ability to focus increases. You may notice periods when meditating where you got lost in the focussing of your breath and emotions and you do “stop thinking” for a while. 

Misconception 2: Be hard on yourself

Another important point with meditation is that you should hold you mind in compassion. So for instance when asked to focus on your breath, and then sometime later you realise you have spent most of the time thinking about what to buy at the shops, do not get angry with yourself.  Instead compassionately bring yourself back to focus on the breath again. Within these practices of meditation, becoming angry or hard on yourself is self defeating.

As you start meditating you will find yourself having your mind loose the focus again and again. Do not get frustrated, but gently bring your focus back to the breadth.

For any Master that might want their slave to learn this, it is important to note that this is not the place for punishment.  Punishment for loosing focus (in terms of meditation ) only leads to the slave becoming more and more fearful to meditating. A strong compassion and love is needed to do this. (But feel free to punish if the slave is lax in making the time to practise!)

How often should you meditate?

To learn meditation I recommend meditating once a day. But if you find this is hard, do what you can, and the closer you can get to a daily practise the better,

You meditate for different lengths of time. At first I would recommend a shorter length – such as 10 minutes and then expand it over time. I have been mediating for 4-5 years now and my regular practise is about 25 minutes sometimes every day, but more often every other day.

If you struggle for time, use a shorter practise. You can normally find 10 minutes of your day to do this. I will give one basic meditation which is 8 minutes long. I think of this as the 5 minutes+3 practise, and I know I can find 5 minutes in my day to do this.

To do the meditations there are audio tracks you listen to. This consists of an instructor who guides you through the practice. For each meditation I will give some links to tracks you can freely download and listen to.

Overtime as you become more confident you then mediate on your own without the track. I now normally meditate without listening to an audio guide. I set a timer on my phone and meditate for the time I set. But last year when I had a bad case of depression, I used the audio tracks to help me with my practise.

Where to meditate

Find a place where you can relax without being disturbed, and then you can relax into the practice. You can do this in any position, but I recommend avoid lying down if you fall asleep easily. You want to be comfortable but not too comfortable.

Many people will meditate on their journeys into work. I will sometimes do this, but I often find I cannot go into a deep meditation as I want to be aware of who is around me. Do what is best for you.

In the next part of the article we will look at the three main meditations to learn.


Mindfulness: Finding Peace in a Frantic World

If you are interested in find out more about mindfulness or meditation. This is the original book that I read that started my journey to meditate, and all the discoveries I had on how to use it as a slave

Based on research by Oxford university, this is a scientific approach to meditation. Along with the scientifically proven benefits.

Find out about my other book recommendations.

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