I was reading recently about the Buddhist perspective of death. The Buddhist perspective is that consciousness passes from one body to another at death. Another way to think about this is to think about lighting a second candle from one first that is already burning.
It means as we pass from one life to another, we do not do this as one unchanging flame. Instead, the one flame lights a new flame, and the expression of this second flame will be different through the form of the new candle. Though it would never have happened without the first flame lighting, it is also formed and shaped by this first flame.
Candles
You can think of Master/slave relationships as candles.
We are transformed from the experience of a Master/slave relationship, from the person that arrived into the relationship; we are not the same from being in it. This impacts what we search for next and how that will form. The flame in the first relationship will ignite the flame in the second, and the second flame, or the Master/slave relationship, will be different from the first.
The combination of the relationship (the candle wax in the candle) will also be different. Different because it has a different person or group of people in the relationship than before.
There are similarities as well. We take with us aspects of our past relationship into this one. As a slave, it can be a memory of how to suck a cock, present, and react in different situations. These can be useful or get in our way. Sometimes we need to unlearn to learn what the new Master needs.
But it can be insights on how to be a good Master or slave, understanding concepts that allow you to serve better, to be a better Master or slave.
We can also take bad parts of us into a relationship – trauma and hurt. The adage: “You hurt in a relationship and are healed in a relationship,” is true. Even if there is space between relationships, certain hurts and healing can only occur in the next.
These all come from the fuel and spark of the previous flame.
Most times, we do not go from one relationship to another. Instead, we pause between them. In fact, for most cases, I believe this is better as – I know as a slave, we need time to recover before the next relationship.
So as a relationship ends, we still hold that candle inside us. It is only when we are ready for the next relationship we then use that candle we have held inside us to light the next flame. And then we will discover what that flame will be and what we will become.
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If you want more help with these subjects, I offer coaching to help you embrace your kinks and fetishes.
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