Kink vs Sex: A tip to make you a more credible Master/slave when talking with others

One of the key differences when joining the Master/slave or general fetish/kink community is understanding the difference between sex and kink. This might seem obvious for some, but others might not even know the difference.


For some, sex and kink might mean being fucked or fucking and doing this for hours. This is a part of anal sex (not the only part BTW) and is just one of many things you can do in the fetish/kink community.

What else is there?

There is so much stuff:

  • Bondage – and this can include chains, ropes, mummification captivity and much more
  • Pain play – this can include being whipped, canes, or it could be other items such as pegs or nipple clamps
  • Anal sex – such as dildoes and fisting – as well as fucking
  • Pup play – where someone likes to spend time being a pup. Often they like interacting with other pups in a mosh pit
  • ABDL – Adult baby diaper play – reasonably new to the gay fetish scene but becoming very popular
  • Animal play – is slightly different to pup play, where someone likes to be transformed into an animal. Most common is a dog, but you also have pony play, becoming a bull and more
  • Water sports: this is piss, maybe pissing on someone, someone drinking someone else’s piss, or maybe submerging and coating yourself in piss at a piss party.
  • Scat – all things shit
  • Humiliation and debasement – this can be while using some of the items from above, but it can also be its own play
  • Worshipping boots, feet, body – and things such as sucking cock and rimming.
  • And so much more

Now, don’t worry – you do not need to like all of this. Many people have only a few fetishes. And some might not have any, for that matter. People often want to try more fetishes and kinks over time. Something they might not have considered at all at first is something they will consider later on.

In my own journey, I was most interested in bondage and dog play (being turned into a dog). But over the years, my interests widened to pain (something I never thought would happen), piss and much much more.

The catch

When you are talking with a Master, you need to be aware that there is so much more than just sex or fucking.

This is important because only a few Masters are interested in only fucking. Most like a wide variety of kink and fetishes, and they can be turned off by a slave that only wants to be fucked.

Mental arousal is more important than sex

For many in the BDSM, Kink and Master/slave scene, the sessions or scenes focus on mental arousal. For example, whipping someone creates incredible energy between the two people. Or have the energy between the Master and slave becomes so intense as they go deeper into Mastery and submission and the power differential grows between them.

So be aware of this. If you get in touch with someone and are only focused on your biological orgasm of sex, you might find you put the Master off.

And if fucking is the only thing you really like, check if this is true with the Master/slave you are talking to. And if not, what do they like? Perhaps it is something you want to try!

Here are some more resources for you

Hardcell ( – This U.K. website discusses fetishes and any issues around safe sex and health issues. So if you have any concerns, check it out.

Kinkly dictionary ( – this is aimed at a straight audience but has a good dictionary on fetish terms. If there is a term you are not familiar with – check it out here first.

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