The slave soul – BDSM slave psychology

Introduction

I wanted to write a simple article on the role of heartfelt begging in slavery. But I ended up having to explain about the slave soul and slave psychology in general. So this is the first in a series of articles including:

• The slave soul (this article)
• The role of heartfelt begging
• Training approach to bring out the slave soul
• Pressure points to train a BDSM slave

All focussing on the psychology of the BDSM slave.

The slave soul – the psychology of the BDSM slave

In a simple psychological model, a BDSM slave has two aspects:

• The human part – including the ego
• The slave part – what I call the slave soul

We all know and are aware of our human part – we cannot get through a typical day with it being there. It tells us what we want and need and how to get it. It also regulates us, including our emotions. It also protects us.

But the slave part or soul is the part of us which many of us are not aware – including slaves. Typically many BDSM Masters and slaves are aware of the need to serve and to be controlled. But there are many other psychological needs and emotions in the slave soul.

When training a slave – a significant part of the BDSM Masters’ role is to help the slave soul become primary. This can be for the course of a session – be that an hour or weekend, or it could be for a more extended period.

Over this article I will describe the slave soul in more detail.

Emotional freedom

Typically our ego restricts our emotions. But when the BDSM slave self becomes primary, we deeply feel all of our emotions. If we feel sad, we burst into tears. If we feel happy, we are over the moon. When we disappoint our Master, we feel awful. And we feel these emotions more profoundly and to the heart compared to our human self.

The ego no longer regulates the emotions. Instead, the Master does. His happiness or unhappiness becomes the slaves.

As an example, I was once serving my last Master at a darkroom in a bar, and Master was extorted me to serve Him with everything I could. Afterwards, we were talking about it, and I told Him that at a certain point, I felt my service was just too inadequate for what he deserved, and found myself bursting in tears.

The Master was a little surprised to hear this (as he was thrilled with my service) and told me in his beautiful baritone voice that he was delighted with my service, and then hugged me. All my tears disappeared, and I was over the moon and utterly happy.

At this moment, my slave self was primary, so my emotions were powerful and profound, with no ego to regulate them, and rather than my ego regulating my emotions, my Master was.

Rational and Irrational

The example also highlights another part of the slave soul: It is not very rational. 

Because the slave soul is so emotional, at its essence, it is also irrational. So the thoughts I had in the example of not serving well enough can readily occur even if they are not logical. This is a reason why the slave soul needs a Master to control and structure them.

A Master needs to be ready for this irrationality and expect it as part of the slave soul. And slave should have the awareness to know that sometimes their thoughts and feelings might not be rational when they are in this space.

BDSM Humiliation and debasement

A slave self often wants to feel humiliated and debased. Humiliation and debasement can also be part of the pathway to making a slave soul more primary.

How one humiliates and debases a slave very much depends on the individual slave. There is no one size fits all solution, and a Master needs to find the right approach for the slave they are training.

Examples of humiliation and debasement are: 

• Eat from the floor
• Kiss/workshop Masters boots or feet
• to be spat on, 
• to drink piss, 
• to be pissed on 

This is by no means an expansive or inclusive list. The varieties are endless.

When someone humiliates me in the right way, it helps me feel more slave-like. I feel I am exactly where I should be. It is like something clicks. I believe what is happening is that my slave self is starting to become more primary.

A slave cock never lies

You might have noticed this when serving or having someone serve you. There might be a point where the Master orders you to do something, and part of you really does not want to do it, and yet your cock is rock hard!

Or perhaps before the session begins, something feels wrong to do, but partway through a scene, you find yourself agreeing to it or asking for it.

The human self and slave self are fighting with each other for primacy. The human self hates it, whereas the slave self needs.

I have a phrase to describe this: “a slave cock never lies.”

Humiliation warning

A word of warning though. It is easy to humiliate someone. But to humiliate and debase a slave takes skill and has to be customised for the individual slave.

For example, calling someone fat and body shaming them, or using derogatory words, might just hurt someone’s feeling. Yet others may love it. 

An example I find interesting is the word: “Faggot.” It is a word I cannot stand, and I hate it. I think this comes from my UK cultural upbringing and how I was bullied when I was a child. But I know other slaves that find the term helps them to be a slave.

So humiliation and debasement depend on the person, and a Master needs to be careful to use the right approach for the right person.

If you do not do so, you can end up hurting the person. When this happens rather than helping the slave self comes out, the slave feels unsafe and further retracts away, and the human self becomes more primary, protecting the slave from the Master.

Rather than bringing the slave self out and primary, you make the human self more primary. This is obviously counter-productive.

A slave’s aim: To give and to serve

And of course, a slave wants to serve and give in all ways. It wants to give all of its energy, body, emotions and soul to a Master.

The need to give and serve is there in the slave soul. All a Master needs to do is to bring the slave soul to be primary. Increase the need for the slave to serve in some way, and then a slave will quite simply start to beg the Master to do it (as and when ordered by the Master, or by the sheer need growing to a point all the slave can do is beg).

And this is where the role of heartfelt begging can come in – something which I will cover in the next article in this series.

BDSM Sex

To serve sexually is also very important – most of us to get a turn on from this. But for instance, for myself: I have found that it is when my slave self become primary that I become very turned on.

But I believe this is sex through serving – not necessarily the slave having an orgasm – when the interchange of energy between Master and slave is so strong and intense.

Why a Master and slave need each other

This is why a Master needs a slave, and a slave needs a Master. A slave soul cannot become primary without the guidance and training of a Master. And Master cannot be a Master without the heartfelt service of a slave soul. Both symbiotic and neither complete without the other.

Next article

In the next article, I will talk about the role of heartfelt begging, and in the final article, I talk about some of the tactics and techniques to train a slave to bring the slave soul out to be primary.